Fall in the Pacific Northwest is absolutely stunning. When I moved here from Texas 25 years ago, I fell in love with this time of year. When the leaves start to turn each year, I am reminded of the many gifts of change and transition. I am also reminded of endings and new beginnings – the change of the seasons in our lives. With the fall each leaf, I know that something beautiful is on the other side.
Gallup recently released a study that says, “quiet quitters make up at least 50% of the workforce”. I’m fascinated by the idea of quiet quitting. I will often hear from someone because they “feel stuck” and they want to engage a coach to help them. They’ve suddenly lost their motivation, they lack confidence, they have zero energy, they lack in self-care, they feel resentful and sometimes even angry. They don’t know where to start. They feel trapped. They lack direction.
This, my friends, is the:
The Doldrums
I wonder how many quiet quitters are in the Doldrums? I learned about this life chapter, “The “Doldrums” and the “Cycle of Renewal” when I was going through my executive coach training at the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara. At the time, I was in the Doldrums. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I was feeling my inner critic and imposter syndrome stronger than I had in years. I lacked confidence. I could not make any decisions. I felt stuck. I’ve learned that you can be happy and fulfilled in one area of your life (i.e., your personal life), and in the Doldrums in your professional life – or the other way around. It felt so validating to finally have a description for how I was feeling. Once I was able to put a label on it, I felt so relieved. I knew in an instant, I had to do something about it.
In The Adult Years, Fredrick Hudson defines the Doldrums as “I. a state of inactivity or stagnation; 2. a dull, listless depressed mood; low spirits.” He further states, “Out of your own success have come forces that are now working against you, and you begin to question whether the “success and happiness” that you have achieved are lasting friends. Instead of enjoying your plateau as the success you deserve, you feel like you are treading water to avoid drowning…The problem is, most people would rather remain stuck in a familiar world that is declining in enchantment than risk moving ahead into unknown conditions to find a new life challenge.” I can confirm that in my own situation, I stayed in the Doldrums far too long, and we see this inside the organizations we work in as well. People can stay stuck for months and even years.
Now to unpack some of this and help offer some simple tips on how to push past the Doldrums. Guess what? You don’t have to remain there long!
Do what’s uncomfortable and discover what’s possible.
-Susan Mann
Once you see something, it’s hard to unsee it. If you are willing to explore it, you can see the possibilities. One of the best things to do here is to actually do something! Fredrick Hudson has some great suggestions for managing the Doldrums in his book, such as “taking evening courses, seeking therapy, take up new hobbies, or join a professional organization.”
Here are my top three recommendations:
- Make a list of your gifts and talents that bring you joy and energy – and ignore the ones that drain you. This was pivotal work that I completed with my coach, Susan Mann, when I was going through my coach training.
- Identify your core values and passions. Your values will anchor you and guide you, particularly during difficult times and times of change. Taking the time to get clarity on these will help you.
- Create generative space for yourself right now in your life. Focus on self care and setting boundaries. It could be boundaries need to start with yourself first. It could be a simple commitment to start and stop times in your day. It could be a mindfulness practice throughout your workday to keep yourself present in the moment.
Sometimes amazing change can happen right where you are. It doesn’t require divorce, quitting your job, or even a sabbatical. Minor tweaks can make a significant differences in your life to help push you through the Doldrums. Self-searching and reflection are the best way to find your inspired future. It’s also helpful to hire a coach – someone who specializes in transitional coaching. Thanks to the amazing coaching I received, after a period of time spent in “cocooning”, amazing and creative energy started to bubble up in “getting ready”, which led to my own amazing transition to launching Radical Ignition. Amazing things ignite when you can create generative space.
Recognizing the gifts of changing seasons in our lives requires acceptance of endings as we move to new beginnings. Something new can’t happen if we can’t welcome and accept the beauty of the end. I often wonder if one of the key reasons we stay stuck is fear of the uncertain. And yet, how will we ever know what a new beginning will look like if we don’t honor the end? Hudson writes: “Endings are symbolically the acceptance of death as reality, yet most of us spend our lifetimes denying the many little deaths that we experience in the form of losses. Our endings, more than our beginnings, keep us committed to living as fully as we can. Letting go of what is not working in your life creates the opportunities for making improvements and new beginnings.”
Melanie is a frequently requested speaker on resilience and the Founder & CEO of Radical Ignition, Inc., an executive coaching and training firm.
In her 30-year career, Melanie has developed a passion for unleashing human potential and creating pathways for people to be their best. Melanie’s successful track record having worked across hundreds of technology organizations in her consulting career gives her a great perspective as a speaker, facilitator, leadership coach and consultant.
If you are interested in our workshops or coaching, please reach out at info@radicaligniton.com.
