My Top 5 Leadership Lessons from Failures

We often hear about lessons learned from failed companies—issues like not prioritizing market validation or lacking financial discipline. While these are important and true, I’ve been reflecting on whether we take enough time to unpack the leadership lessons and behaviors that contribute to these failures. There is so much more to learn there. Failure, in my experience, is the gateway to success.

Over three decades of working with entrepreneurial companies in human resources, organizational development, consultant, and executive coach, I have witnessed a handful of successful liquidity events—but far more failures. I’ve managed massive reorganizations, layoffs, and shutdowns, all of which have shaped my understanding of what it takes to build high performing leadership teams and successful organizational cultures. Entrepreneurship is inherently risky, but within these challenges lie profound lessons.

Reflecting on my journey, I’ve distilled my insights into five key leadership lessons fundamental to thriving in today’s fast-paced, ever-changing environment.

Failure is your teacher

Having worked with countless high achievers, I’ve realized that failure, while often feared, is an unparalleled teacher. Personally, I’ve learned more from the adversities than from successes. The same applies to organizations: we push hard for wins but often fail to pause and reflect on the losses – it’s often the tragedies that define us. In fact, in times of discomfort, the most learning occurs. Failure fosters resilience and innovation – but only if leaders are willing to pause and reflect.

Unfortunately, I’ve observed that immature leadership teams often dismiss, excuse, or rush past failure. Where is the learning if we don’t pause? Where is the resilience when we ignore failure? Do you take the time to hold a blameless postmortem after a failure on your team? Or do you just point fingers, blame, and move on? Do you stop, pause, and engage in active listening when someone brings a failure on a project to you, or do you immediately start to find fault? Interesting questions to consider.

Blame and shame is an interesting study inside organizations. If I make a mistake, I might feel guilty. If my team fails, it does not define me as a failure (shame/identity). We don’t spend enough time examining our own relationship with shame especially around failure. Brené Brown explains this in her book, Rising Strong: 

Shame is a focus on self, while guilt is a focus on behavior. This is not just semantics. There’s a huge difference between I screwed up (guilt) and I am a screwup (shame). The former is acceptance of our imperfect humanity. The latter is basically an indictment of our very existence.

 

For example, when a key employee leaves, do you make excuses for their departure, or do you take accountability and reflect on your role in it? Learning from failure requires strong leadership willing to look in the mirror. It fosters trust, drives engagement, and creates a foundation for innovation. Failure is an inherent part of the learning process, and it also fosters resilience. In Forbes Article, 20 Leaders Share Lessons Learned From Business Failure, 15 out 20 leaders mentioned learning from failure as part of their leadership lessons learned.

Slow down to speed up

This timeless lesson is particularly crucial for startups and entrepreneurial ventures. Having worked with so many serial entrepreneurs, I see this as both their greatest superpower and their Achilles heel. Leaders’ urgency to build and launch products sometimes eclipses the need for market validation. According to CB Insights, 35% of startups fail due to a lack of market need—a clear case for slowing down to strategize before moving forward.

I see the emphasis on speed and a sense of urgency as problematic for leaders in larger organizations as well. This drive for speed, urgency, and a relentless focus on results is evident in organizations of all sizes. Leaders often struggle with limited resources, making it challenging to navigate delegation, empowerment, and self-care, which can ultimately lead to burnout for both them and their teams.

Speed can become systemic within the organization, often turning toxic in the culture. It can lead to bad decision-making, misalignment the team, lack of vision, frustrated customers, and disengaged employees. Slowing down doesn’t mean becoming less productive; it means working smarter. Leaders who take time to plan, strategize, and reflect are more likely to make informed decisions. They are better equipped to adapt to the fast-paced changes in their environments.

Slowing down means building infrastructure, behavioral planning, and scalable practices.  Slowing down means taking the time to build alignment in your leadership team and good hygiene around decision making. It means hiring slowly and firing quickly – and yes, this is coming from a senior HR professional. The team that starts the journey may not be the one that finishes it. Taking too long to terminate one senior leader in an early-stage organization can be a terminal decision.

Embrace conflict to foster productive teams

Tough decisions are inevitable. Noam Wasserman’s book, The Founder’s Dilemma, highlights that 65% of high-potential startups fail due to co-founder conflict. I’ve witnessed how unresolved conflicts among co-founders bleed into the leadership team and broader organization, creating misalignment and dysfunction throughout the system.

Leaders and teams often avoid addressing the elephants in the room, sidestepping tough conversations or confronting their own blind spots. This avoidance is frequently rooted in a results-driven mindset—focusing solely on getting things done without building a framework of trust and psychological safety. However, avoiding conflict tends to exacerbate problems. Without trust, people don’t feel safe enough to express their true thoughts or feelings. Healthy, respectful conflict is essential for challenging ideas, fostering innovation, and generating better outcomes. When trust forms the foundation, conflict becomes a constructive force rather than a destructive one. Ironically, by taking the time to develop this framework of trust and psychological safety, we ultimately achieve better results—a concept that has always seemed so straightforward to me!

If leaders avoid difficult conversations, they often lack the skills needed to address performance issues in real time or to reset expectations consistently which leads to productive teams. High performers, in particular, benefit from clear feedback stay engaged continue growing. When leaders lean into difficult conversations to navigate conflict and set boundaries, they foster a culture of accountability. This culture not only addresses immediate challenges but also encourages transparency, trust, and personal development, all of which contribute to long-term success.

In the absence of a culture of accountability, organizations often face a cascade of negative outcomes that can lead to failure. Without accountability, poor performance goes unchecked, creating frustration and resentment among high-performing team members. This lack of recognition for effort and results can lead to disengagement and turnover among top talent, weakening the organization’s overall capability.

Moreover, when leaders fail to set and enforce clear expectations, misalignment becomes systemic. Teams lose focus, resources are misallocated, and goals become increasingly difficult to achieve. This lack of clarity and ownership often fosters a blame-shifting culture, where problems are ignored or passed around rather than solved.

In startups or early-stage companies, the stakes are even higher. Without accountability, leaders may fail to address critical issues, such as product misalignment with market needs or operational inefficiencies, until it’s too late. Toxic behaviors can take root, eroding trust and collaboration. In some cases, this absence of accountability contributes to the erosion of company culture, making it difficult to attract or retain employees who can drive the business forward.

Accountability acts as a foundation for sustainable growth. It ensures that everyone, from individual contributors to senior leaders, is aligned and committed to the organization’s goals. Companies that embrace accountability not only mitigate risks but also position themselves for resilience and long-term success.

Emotional agility during change

Change and uncertainty are constants in organizations, especially during periods of growth or crisis. Companies that prioritize organizational resilience—not just in response to crises but as a proactive strategy—gain a lasting competitive edge. In today’s hybrid and post-pandemic organizations, empathy is perhaps the most important leadership skill as evidenced by this article from the Center by Creative Leadership, The Importance of Empathy in the Workplace. Leaders must recognize and address the emotional side of change. Compassionate leadership, which includes empathy and emotional intelligence, is critical in navigating these challenges.

Susan David, expert on emotional agility and award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist says the following:

We often lose sight of our shared humanity in the midst of our dogged pursuit of productivity and profit. But success isn’t possible if we’re building upon an unstable foundation. The ability to help others be present with their own emotions is the core to effective teaming and leadership.

 

Unfortunately, failing companies often prioritize financial performance at the expense of team health. Leaders who neglect the emotional impact of change risk disengagement, resentment, and backlash from their teams . There are people behind products. Emotions and impact behind a message. Too often, the focus is placed on the result or the thing we are trying to change without considering the emotional impact on individuals involved.  Whether due to a lack of emotional literacy or feeling ill-equipped, leaders frequently deliver tough messages without accounting for how their teams might feel. This oversight can lead to significant backlash, as evidenced by negative reviews on Glassdoor or social media following layoffs.

Cultivate culture and values

Successful companies build strong cultures rooted in clearly defined values. Establishing these early on is critical to sustaining growth. Organizations with a values-based culture experience greater alignment, engagement, and ultimately, financial success. Gallup reports that companies prioritizing culture see a 33% increase in revenue.

Founders and CEOs who prioritize culture lay the groundwork for long-term success. Culture and values should be clearly defined and integrated into measurable Objectives and Key Results (OKRs). CEOs must ensure leaders and managers are held accountable for achieving OKRs related to culture and values.

Values should reflect an organization’s identity, not aspirational goals. They should guide hiring, decision-making, and behavior. Involving the team in defining values ensures buy-in and alignment. Values should be behavioral rather than results-based, serving as an anchor during times of change and uncertainty.

Organizations that compromise culture and values for short-term gains often pay the price in the long run. By prioritizing culture and aligning it with strategic goals, companies lay the foundation for sustainable growth.

Final Thoughts

My career has been punctuated by wins and losses, each offering valuable insights into leadership and culture-building. While success is never guaranteed, leaders can significantly improve their odds by letting failure be their teacher, learning to pause, embracing conflict, fostering accountablity, building emotional agility and cultivating culture and values.

Leadership isn’t about perfection; it’s about being intentional, adaptable, and human. By embodying these principles, leaders can build resilient organizations and impactful teams. Entrepreneurship is a journey, and leadership is a continual evolution—but with the right lessons in hand, success is within reach.

 

Melanie is the Founder & CEO of Radical Ignition, bringing 30 years of C-level executive and consulting experience across a broad range of industries. She has coached hundreds of executives and teams across six continents, from startups to Fortune 50 firms, and is a sought-after speaker on topics including resilience, change, culture, confidence, leadership, and empowerment. Melanie has partnered with leaders from top brands such as Fresenius Medical Care, CVS Health, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson, Google, Accenture, ServiceNow, Cedar, and Airtable.

Dear Younger Self

Dear Younger Self,

Today is the day you are asking for your raise. You are 29. You’ve lived most of your life feeling like you aren’t enough – constantly trying to prove yourself. But today feels different. You’re feeling the weight of your accomplishments. You’re climbing the ladder, you’ve demanded your seat at the table, and now, you’re here. You’ve earned the VP title. But there’s a catch: you’re not being paid like your male peers. No comparable bonus, no matching salary. Today, you’re going to change that.

It stung earlier when you called Mom, hoping for encouragement, and she said it wasn’t a good idea to ask for such a big raise. 30% is a lot, she said. While I was furious with mom then, what I grew to understand later that is well-documented that her era was marked by substantial gender wage disparities far worse than ours, as well as societal norms that discouraged women from negotiating for higher pay. In fact, in 1963, women working full-time earned approximately 59 cents for every dollar earned by men. Also, women made up a smaller percentage of the workforce, and many were concentrated in roles traditionally considered “female jobs,” such as secretarial, teaching, and nursing positions. The pay gap was also significant, and expectations around assertiveness in negotiating pay were culturally geared toward men. She is right about one thing; it’s a bold ask. But here’s the thing—YOU ARE BOLD.

Wow! What a badass you are for not listening to her doubts or critic in your head. Instead, you walked into that room, stood your ground, and asked for what you deserved. Assertiveness has never been something you struggled with, so we can confidently call BS on that societal norm. Let me spoil the ending for you: You got that 30% raise. And guess what? You didn’t get fired, despite the little voice whispering that you might – and the seed that mom planted.

I wish I could spare you some of the discomfort and self-doubt you’re going to face between 28 and 55. I know I can’t stop it, but I can offer you some wisdom to carry with you. First and foremost, hear this: You were never less than. You were always enough. You are enough now, and you always will be.

Being a woman is not a limitation; it is a profound strength. Feeling deeply? That’s power. Vulnerability? That’s power. Emotional depth? That’s power. I know you’ll spend years trying to suppress those emotions, telling yourself it’s necessary to keep your seat at the table because men say it’s weak. Worse, you’ll convince yourself that staying stoic, hardened, and detached is what will prove your worth. But that’s a lie.

The inner critic will be loud—so loud at times you can’t shut it out or it’s stories. Imposter syndrome will creep in, telling you that you don’t belong, that you’re not smart enough, strong enough, or deserving of your success. It will urge you to hide your true self, to adapt and shrink to fit spaces that weren’t built with you in mind.  It will convince you that you must work harder, and longer, do more, take on more.  It will seduce you into believing that you must say yes to everything that comes your way – sacrificing your relationships and family at times. You’ll swing the pendulum so far to the other side, trying to be someone you’re not, just to silence those voices.

But here’s the secret: You don’t have to fight so hard to prove your worth. You already have it. What would it feel like to challenge less and feel more? What would it look like to lean into your authenticity and show up as your full self—emotions, intuition, and all?

Imagine stepping into a room and owning it, not because you’ve fought tooth and nail to belong but because you know you already do. Your authenticity is not a liability; it’s your superpower. Your ability to lead with empathy, to connect, to inspire, and to uplift others is what makes you extraordinary.

So, dear younger self, march into that office today and ask for what you deserve. Know that every uncomfortable step you take now is paving the way for the woman you’ll become—the woman writing this letter, who knows her worth and stands firmly in it.

With love and gratitude,

Your 55-Year-Old Self

Melanie is the Founder & CEO of Radical Ignition and draws on 30 years C-level executive experience and consulting experience working across a broad range of industries. She has coached hundreds of executives and teams from six continents, from startups to Fortune 50 firms and is a frequently requested speaker on topics such as resilience, change, culture, building confidence, leadership, and empowerment.  She works with leaders from brands such as Fresenius Medical Care, CVS Health, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson, Accenture, ServiceNow, Cedar, and Airtable.

New Beginnings and Embracing Change

I first heard John O’Donohue’s For a New Beginning when I was attending the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara going through my executive coaching certification, and it has held a special place in my heart. O’Donohue beautifully captures the essence of transition — the quiet, transformative moments that often weave around outward change.

As we embrace the New Year, O’Donohue’s poem offers timeless wisdom on growth and renewal—two vital themes for navigating change and uncertainty. Reflecting on my work with leaders and organizations amidst transformation, I see this as an opportunity to explore five key themes inspired by his words.

1. The Call to Change

“In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.”

 

We are seeing so much change in the world and inside organizations. Change is constant. Yet, change within us often begins in silence, in the unnoticed spaces of our inner world. As we reflect on the past year, we may recognize the subtle shifts that have been preparing us for something new. It’s often in these uncomfortable moments, there is the most learning. It’s the tragedies in our lives that define us. They are the fence posts on which the rest of our lives hang. The world is a beautiful, resilient place. In coaching, we explore these hidden desires with our clients and allow them to surface, nurturing readiness for the next steps.

2. Letting Go of the Familiar

“For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.”

 

The New Year invites us to acknowledge what we’ve outgrown. Whether it’s habits, roles, or mindsets, the allure of safety and sameness can hold us back. Sometimes it keeps us stuck – stuck in toxic cultures, companies or with terrible managers. How can we start to shift habitual behaviroal patterns that are not serving us anymore? How can we reframe negative thoughts or beliefs that no longer serving us? These familiar patters impede our growth. In the coaching process, we explore this tension, helping our clients navigate the delicate balance between honoring their past and embracing their future.

3. Cultivating Courage

“Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.”

 

Every beginning requires courage. In moments of uncertainty, it’s natural to hesitate. Yet, as O’Donohue reminds us, stepping onto new ground brings renewed vitality and possibility. Leaders often face the challenge of stepping into uncharted territory—whether it’s taking on a new role, driving transformation in their organization, or redefining their leadership style. The New Year is an ideal time to reconnect with dreams that may have been dormant and to chart a course for what’s next. In coaching, we focus on fostering this courage by identifying core strengths, reframing limiting beliefs, and cultivating the mindset necessary to embrace growth. This work helps our clients approach new opportunities with clarity and confidence, rekindling their vision and energy for the road ahead.

4. Trusting the Unknown

“Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.”

 

Trusting the unknown can feel counterintuitive. We are conditioned within our organizations to plan meticulously, control outcomes, and anticipate risks. Yet, transitions—whether they involve stepping into a new role, launching an initiative, or navigating industry disruption—demand a different skill: the ability to embrace ambiguity. This is an increasingly more important skill for leaders in today’s organizations.

In our coaching, we work with our clients to reframe uncertainty as opportunity. Instead of focusing on what’s unclear or beyond control, we work on developing trust in their ability to adapt, embrace, and thrive. This trust comes from self-awareness, clarity of values, and confidence in the vision they’re striving toward.

Trusting the unknown also requires letting go of the need for perfection or certainty and leaning into curiosity. What can be learned from this moment? How might unexpected outcomes lead to innovation or growth? In coaching, we explore these questions, encouraging clients to see ambiguity not as a threat but as fertile ground for creativity, bold decision-making, and transformative change.

By cultivating this mindset, leaders not only navigate the unknown more effectively but also model courage and resilience for their teams, fostering an environment where others feel empowered to take risks, innovate, and grow alongside them.

5. Finding Rhythm in Change

“Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.”

 

As the New Year unfolds, we are invited to approach life with a spirit of adventure, embracing risk and growth as natural companions. Change can feel scary at first, but with time, a new rhythm emerges. We can accept it as a way of life – it will help us to move through it and move our teams through it. Coaching supports this process, helping individuals align their actions with their aspirations. Coaching helps leaders identify strategies to find equilibrium during change and transition, whether they’re scaling operations, managing cultural shifts, or facing market uncertainties. By developing emotional agility and learning to lean into calculated risks, leaders can create an environment of trust and adaptability for themselves and their teams.

For a New Beginning reminds us that the New Year is not just a change in the calendar but an invitation to awaken, to step boldly into what’s next, and to trust the process of becoming. As we navigate transitions, let this poem be a guide and a reminder that even in uncertainty, the promise of a fulfilling path lies ahead. Don’t be tempted to rush through times of uncertainty and discomfort or dismiss emotions. Instead, embrace and sit still with those feelings, which may be exactly what is needed. It is within the discomfort that the most profound learning often begins.

 

Melanie brings a dynamic journey that blends the experience of working across many organizations from startups to Fortune 50 in various industries with the strategic wisdom of three decades in C-level roles in Organizational Development and HR. Her mission is to ignite her clients’ leadership prowess and help them unleash their full potential. She’s worn the hats of both the entrepreneur and the executive, giving her a profound understanding of the challenges and triumphs in these worlds. She understands the urgency, agility, and innovation needed to thrive in this ecosystem.

She is coaching leaders and their teams in organizations such as CVS Health, Microsoft, Fresenius Medical Care, ServiceNow, Johnson & Johnson, Amdocs, Accenture, Amdocs, Checkpoint, Centrical, and Cedar.

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